Gluten-Free Random Thoughts

EU: Erasmus gives Europe opportunity, love and babies | News | DW |  22.09.2014

I keep a mime in a large, transparent box… mostly for the sake of irony.

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There is literally no good reason to eat marshmallows…

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I lived in a town that was near the world’s largest baking soda volcano. One day, it erupted, flooding the town and relieving the acid re-flux of dozens of residents.

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They say, if you put a piece of wedding cake under your pillow, you’ll dream of your future spouse. I put a piece of pineapple upside-down cake under my pillow and I dreamed of my future spouse but she was standing on her head.

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Who is the third most popular medieval philosopher? If you said Erasmus, you’d be wrong… so very very wrong.

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I kept my poisons out of the reach of my kids so, if I was ever poisoned, I could cross them off the list of suspects pretty early on.

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France isn’t so great; but, it beats elbow surgery in most polls.

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Her breasts were real but she’d had buttock injections. She was essentially a chest with a false bottom.

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Being a Baltimore Orioles fan is like trying to somersault up-hill.

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Sign in a dominatrix-supply store: “If you don’t see what you want, ask for it… BEG FOR IT…ON YOUR KNEES, WORM!”.

11 thoughts on “Gluten-Free Random Thoughts”

  1. I blame being a Baltimore Orioles fan for my eating marshmallows, picking Erasmus as the third most popular medieval philosopher, AND for keeping poisons close at hand. As a result of the Orioles, no one trusts my judgment, which does let me off the hook a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

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