Gluten-Free Random Thoughts

EU: Erasmus gives Europe opportunity, love and babies | News | DW |  22.09.2014

I keep a mime in a large, transparent box… mostly for the sake of irony.

There is literally no good reason to eat marshmallows…

I lived in a town that was near the world’s largest baking soda volcano. One day, it erupted, flooding the town and relieving the acid re-flux of dozens of residents.

They say, if you put a piece of wedding cake under your pillow, you’ll dream of your future spouse. I put a piece of pineapple upside-down cake under my pillow and I dreamed of my future spouse but she was standing on her head.

Who is the third most popular medieval philosopher? If you said Erasmus, you’d be wrong… so very very wrong.

I kept my poisons out of the reach of my kids so, if I was ever poisoned, I could cross them off the list of suspects pretty early on.

France isn’t so great; but, it beats elbow surgery in most polls.

Her breasts were real but she’d had buttock injections. She was essentially a chest with a false bottom.

Being a Baltimore Orioles fan is like trying to somersault up-hill.

Sign in a dominatrix-supply store: “If you don’t see what you want, ask for it… BEG FOR IT…ON YOUR KNEES, WORM!”.

11 thoughts on “Gluten-Free Random Thoughts

  1. I blame being a Baltimore Orioles fan for my eating marshmallows, picking Erasmus as the third most popular medieval philosopher, AND for keeping poisons close at hand. As a result of the Orioles, no one trusts my judgment, which does let me off the hook a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s