It makes them far easier to mail.
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With kids safely in crates, you’ll be able to keep your poisons and cleaning supplies within easy reach.
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It helps them to appreciate the right to stand upright, which our forefathers died for.
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Keeping children in crates helps prepare them for careers as mimes.
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Their crates can be stacked to save space. Remember to keep the kids who haven’t been toilet trained ON THE BOTTOM ROW.
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Crates can be modified to be modular couches and chairs so, when you are relaxing in the evening, it will be a guilt-free evening with the kids.
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My parents kept me in a crate for years and I don’t have any emotional problems. At least not any that I feel comfortable sharing with you.
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For God’s sake, don’t raise your child in a pet-carrier because it might damage his self-esteem.
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Children crave boundaries and structure so they kind of deserve to be kept in crates.
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You may think raising a child in a crate is bad for it; but, there are peer-reviewed articles that prove conclusively that pretty much anyone can get a peer-reviewed article published.
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No more lost baby teeth.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Yep, one of your pest lists yet Charles 😉
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Is “pest” a typo, or are you trying to tell me something, Deb?
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I was reading about the little issue over there, so it might be either
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You talking about the attempt to overthrow our government?
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In all honesty any peer reviewed articles about raising children in crates would have to conclude that there is currently insufficient academic research to conclusively argue for or against raising children in crates. At least you’re helping to move the discussion forward.
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It’s my job to take the tough topics and to totally misrepresent them. Thank you for noticing, James…
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I like the stacking idea. Make the top spot a competition among siblings, that’s got to be healthy.
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I like th’ way ya think!
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When you said you were running out of ideas to write about there is clearly a whole lot of dark areas to be explored. Good point too, to keep the not potty trained children on the bottom!
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Yeah, but dark humor is too easy, Robyn… just like mean humor. I try to avoid them if possible.
Sadly, I was inspired…
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I never bothered having children, but if I had I imagine I may have done it this way. None of them getting underfoot or stealing my cookies (because they’re all mine).
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Well, you still might end up having one so keep a crate around, just in case.
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All valid points!
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Excellent idea!
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That’s going to be a heck of a crate if they stay in there till legal voting age. Actually, given the political situation, we may want to keep them in for a few years beyond that point.
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Hell, I might join them…
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If you start out this way, being raised in a crate will come naturally:
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I was telling my son about Garland, last night. That’s Entertainment was on and I was chatty…
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