Secrets Mimes will Never Tell

A.M. Juster - Rounding Up the Mimes - Peacock Journal

Shields and Yarnell were mimes who performed in the seventies. They were given their own variety sketch show which was the most random act since 1945, when Salvador Dali ceded his power of attorney to a rice cooker.

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I saw an all-mime version of Key largo, once. It was pretty stupid but, when the hurricane hit, the sight of the cast walking into the wind was fantastic.

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Everyone hates mimes. Scientists think it is because our brains are hardwired to hate any prancing idiot in a leotard.

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A good mime can pretend to be inside a box. A great mime can be put into a box and convince you that he’s outside of it.

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The best definition of a mime is “a clown that isn’t doing anything funny”…

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A skilled mime can earn as much as 120,000 dollars a year if he is a systems analyst.

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Sports teams for mime colleges are comparatively inexpensive to maintain because they never have to buy equipment.

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A mime’s costume is important in that it allows others to distinguish him from a dangerously insane person.

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Mime originated in the ancient Greek theater, where they must’ve had a great many tales of heroes walking into the wind or trapped in a box.

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It you sneak up on a mime, it serves him right!

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Do not hire mimes to do yard-work. They may look as if they are doing a lot; but, after they leave, you’ll wonder if they did anything at all…

13 thoughts on “Secrets Mimes will Never Tell

      1. We’ll split up the duties. I’ve got a box… all you have to do is get him inside it. I recommend putting a bag of McDonalds burgers inside and closing the lid with a string…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. “I don’t get it. What is he doing? That doesn’t make any sense. What is the point?” That is what goes through my mind. Like this one: The best definition of a mime is “a clown that isn’t doing anything funny”…

    Liked by 1 person

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