She Told Me (an Exercise)

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She told me that I ruined her for other men… well, she actually told me that I ruined men in general for her.

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She told me that she didn’t hate me one iota; but, then I found out that she hated iotas.

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She told me that my voice was like honey in her ears in that it made her feel like ants were eating their way into her brain.

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She told me that I was her everything but that wasn’t enough.

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She told me I was too indecisive; I don’t know quite how I feel about that.

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She told me that I was like a whiz in the kitchen, by which she meant urine on the floor.

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She told me I was the light of her life and that she preferred dark rooms.

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She told me I had beautiful eyes but it turned out she was only talking about the white part.

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She told me that I was a lion but a bath would get rid of that smell.

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She told me that I was the bravest man she ever saw grovel in front of a group of pre-teens…

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