She told me that I ruined her for other men… well, she actually told me that I ruined men in general for her.
She told me that she didn’t hate me one iota; but, then I found out that she hated iotas.
She told me that my voice was like honey in her ears in that it made her feel like ants were eating their way into her brain.
She told me that I was her everything but that wasn’t enough.
She told me I was too indecisive; I don’t know quite how I feel about that.
She told me that I was like a whiz in the kitchen, by which she meant urine on the floor.
She told me I was the light of her life and that she preferred dark rooms.
She told me I had beautiful eyes but it turned out she was only talking about the white part.
She told me that I was a lion but a bath would get rid of that smell.
She told me that I was the bravest man she ever saw grovel in front of a group of pre-teens…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Grovelling in front of pre teens is an artform. I heard it wss up for inclusion in the olympics until they cancelled the whole show iver you know what.
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Actually, I scare the hell out of teenagers…
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You are the LEGEND
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LOL
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You really need to stop peeing on the kitchen floor. Women hate that…
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If she would run water in the sink, I wouldn’t have to…
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It’s a vicious cycle..
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The whites of the eye really do tell a lot about a person and can be very attractive. I think.
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I buff and shine that part of my eyes, weekly. I totally agree, Robyn…
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Hysterical! Written from personal experience?
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Just some humor wind-sprints. I like to do little exercises to keep me sharp. You can probably tell that I dulled a little near the end…
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Your dull is my razor edge.
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Compliments scare the hell out of me, George…
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Wooow! You really have a way with your words 😂
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Well, thank you!
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My wife says I’m the best lover she ever had, but since she was a nun before we met, I’m guessing the priests she knew were probably too busy being child molesters.
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Still… isn’t it great to be number one? No matter how you got there?
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😉
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Preteens can be terrifying, and you were probably spared of getting dragged into the latest Tik Tok prank.
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They are at their most terrifying when the preteens are your own kids…
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