Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
Because sometimes you just feel the need to vomit for twenty minutes and then sleep on the bathroom floor. ♣ You can’t make marijuana in a prison toilet. ♣ If your child accidentally ingests pot, he could become very anxious; whereas, if your child drinks your liquor, the worst that can happen is he’ll crash […]
Read More Why Marijuana will Never Replace Alcohol[The Twelve Steps are a construct of Alcoholics Anonymous, for those of you who are not Americans] Admit you are powerless over alcohol and that nothing will keep you from drinking… even Alcoholics Anonymous. Believe in a power greater than yourself that can restore you to sanity… and that power is Dr. Phil. Turn your […]
Read More A Bender of a Thousand Miles Begins with 12 StepsFull Contact Karate: Well… full-contact anything, for that matter. I tried this and found out that, even though the audience can’t hear that kick reverberate through my head, it’s an experience that I’ll never forget… although, if I’d been kicked a little harder I might have… ֍ Drinking Contests: Alcohol is a drug that you […]
Read More Socially Acceptable Ways to Kill YourselfI Published Cooking with Your Children but a lot of people were way off in what the book was about. ☺ Because lips are sensitive, even a mild blow can cause bruising or even death… if you meet up with some nut that gets enraged at the sight of bruised lips. ☺ My old girlfriend […]
Read More Still More LeftoversI want my public nudity to be MY idea… not the idea of the worm in a bottle of mescal… I dread accidentally ordering a “girl drink”. That warm feeling where you feel content and the world loves you lasts about ten minutes; then, you hit a bouncer with a bar stool because he purposely […]
Read More Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol, Anymore
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 