Goblin Sharks are our Friends!!!

I think this might be the very last of my older animal essays. I hope you enjoy it because I’ve completely run out of animals to write about… except bacterium. But, I don’t think I could do much with a topic like that… The Goblin Shark!!!

Millennials and Other Things that Shouldn’t Exist

Recently, on the subway, I saw a man get on, carefully attach his own strap to the hold-bar and hold onto that for stability. He didn’t take one of the many empty seats because, everyone knows that germs can crawl right through pants and into one’s anus. After that, it’s anything goes, for Mr. Germ. […]

Tips on Venomous Snakes

If you inject a venomous snake with anti-venom, when it bites you, water comes out. Ironically, the most playful and loving of all snakes is the Death Adder. Herpetologists think that snake venom evolved from gastric juices, because nothing dissolves food into a nutritive slurry like neurotoxin. A snake is just as afraid of you […]

Eels… All about them and their friends…

Another animal essay that resides in my permanent collection. Best enjoyed with a wedge of Danish blue cheese and a dry Chablis: The Coniferous Amalgam of the Moray Eel

All Quiet on the Random Thoughts

Sun Tzu said, “When you forces are strong, appear weak; and, when your forces are weak, appear strong”. That’s why, whenever I walk into a bar full of tough guys, I always make it a point to knock out the smallest, weakest man in the room. Just in case they all have knowledge of […]