More and More Medical Advice from a Terse Llama

Dear Terse Llama, The lump on my chest is getting larger while the lump on my back is getting smaller. What is happening to my body? Terrified in Tehran Dear Tehran, You are sleeping on a broomstick. ♦ Dear Terse Llama, My arthritis is in full force. I’ve tried every possible cure: Fish oil, flax […]

The First Things I’ll Do After Covid

Kiss the first person I see, on the mouth, like that sailor from that famous photograph taken on VJ Day. Shave. Put my pants on. Actually, I should probably do THAT BEFORE I kiss the first person I see, on the mouth, like that sailor from that famous photograph taken on VJ Day. I will […]

In Praise of Older Women

Older women are no longer looking for “Mr. Right” or “Mr. Acceptable”. They are looking for “Mr. Anybody Because My Last Egg is about to Drop”. I am that anybody! As I get older and tire more easily, older women sleep less and have more energy; because, menopause is nature’s methamphetamine… Older women like to […]

Lobster Pots of Random Thoughts

I got one of those fantasy swords in the mail. I wanted to call it, “Dragon Hacker” but I realized that I’d already given that name to my couch. I think all ballots should be write-in ballots because I really don’t think people with bad penmanship deserve a voice in our government. Nothing says, “Let’s […]