Lobster Pots of Random Thoughts

Solid gold toilet worth $1M and titled 'America' stolen from ...

I got one of those fantasy swords in the mail. I wanted to call it, “Dragon Hacker” but I realized that I’d already given that name to my couch.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

I think all ballots should be write-in ballots because I really don’t think people with bad penmanship deserve a voice in our government.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

Nothing says, “Let’s change the topic of conversation” like a sandal thrown at one’s head.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

I wrote a book on Gothic cathedrals once; and, to make it more difficult, I didn’t let myself use the words “Gothic” or “cathedral”.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

After my accident, the doctor said I would never dance again; but, I did… once. Unfortunately, no one saw me so the doctor told me it doesn’t count.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

I confessed to setting an explosion that killed eleven people because it gave me an alibi for an explosion that killed twelve people.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

I think that people who wait for the voices in their heads to tell them to kill aren’t being proactive enough.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

Only in America is the populist candidate the guy with solid gold toilet seats.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

In space, no one can hear you scream… or yodel, which is why there are no Swiss in space.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie… that’s not really true, but believing it makes me feel better…

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

If the wheel had never been invented, paddle-boats would simply be floating S&M emporiums.

Cute red dragon cartoon Clipart | k16816511 | Fotosearch

 

20 thoughts on “Lobster Pots of Random Thoughts

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