Ort of the Worst Sort (Random Thoughts)

I was debating with my lawyer the concept of a free will but he told me I have to pay for mine like everyone else. ☻ My father always said, “Not having a Y chromosome doesn’t make you any less of a man” ☻ Whenever I see a roast chicken that has been tied up […]

What Hath Rand Thoughts?

I dislike the term “shooting spree” because it makes it sound like more fun than it actually is. ☺ Reflecting on my life, my biggest regret is the decision I made to reflect on my life… ☺ Serving on a jury is like playing Candyland with your kids… you know that it’s your duty, but […]

How to Tell if You are a Covid 19 Super-Spreader

A dozen people from your last mask-less get-together went to the hospital and it had nothing to do with the salmon mousse. Your Secret Service code name is “The Plague Rat”. Suicidal teenagers run up to you and lick your forehead. Masks you give out at your events aren’t compliant with CDC guidelines and are […]

Stuff I Used to Worry About

I used to worry about dying young; now, I just worry about dying. I used to worry about going bald; now, I just worry about my hat blowing off. I used to worry about getting fat; now, I just worry that I’m not worried about getting fat. I used to worry about being publicly humiliated; […]