A dozen people from your last mask-less get-together went to the hospital and it had nothing to do with the salmon mousse.
Your Secret Service code name is “The Plague Rat”.
Suicidal teenagers run up to you and lick your forehead.
Masks you give out at your events aren’t compliant with CDC guidelines and are imaginary.
Vultures circle your rallies.
Before anyone can attend one of your speeches, they have to sign a document stating that they will not sue you, nor will they haunt you after death.
Your underlings give you the nickname “UNCLEAN!”…
Congress passes a law requiring you to ring a bell as you enter a populated area.
The grim robed figure of Death gets tired of following you around so you start car pooling with him…
Your wife stops sleeping with you but for a totally different reason than why she wasn’t sleeping with you before covid…