A dozen people from your last mask-less get-together went to the hospital and it had nothing to do with the salmon mousse. Your Secret Service code name is “The Plague Rat”. Suicidal teenagers run up to you and lick your forehead. Masks you give out at your events aren’t compliant with CDC guidelines and are […]
Read More How to Tell if You are a Covid 19 Super-Spreader
Okay, you need money and you’ve already sold one of your kidneys, one of your lungs and one of your livers. You’ve sold plasma to a blood banks and you’ve sold sperm to what might or might not have been a sperm bank. And, you STILL need money because those HORSES ARE NOT GOING TO […]
Read More I was a Human Guinea Pig for the FBI!
If I was being besieged in a castle in the middle ages, I’d try my hardest to convince the people surrounding me that THEY were the ones under siege and that they were going to be trapped out there FOREVER if they didn’t leave. She called me a “grade A rat” which was surprising because […]
Read More R. N. Domth Oughts
When Vladimir Putin sees a rat, he says, “Oh! A rat!”. When he sees Donald Trump he says, “Oh! An idiot!” Rats aren’t as interested in bankrupting farmers because RATS LOVE GRAIN SILOS. Most rats are pretty sure that there were no airports back in the year 1812… Rats don’t care about your religion or […]
Read More Comparing Our 45th President to a Rat