Thoughts on Dogs and their Food

If you feed your dog randomly, throughout the day, your dog will want food all the time; but, if you feed your dog on a strict schedule, it will only want food all the time… Cycle dog food varies its formula based on a dog’s age. Be careful! If you feed Cycle 4 to a […]

Scars and How You Get Them

[In the movie, The Dark Knight, The Joker asks various people, “Wanna know how I got these scars?” and spins a different story to each person. Here are the real answers to: Wanna know how I got these scars? I was teaching my dog how to catch a Frisbee. I was a sword […]

Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Speed Round

Q. My daughter is pregnant and I’m not happy about it. What should I do? A. Don’t worry. Your daughter’s condition should be back to normal in eight or nine months. If it isn’t, she’s probably just fat. Q. What is a good name for a pet spider? A. “Mr. Spider” Q. That’s not a […]

Insanity, by Calvin Klein

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Quantum physics is doing the same thing in exactly the same way, over and over, and getting one, two or zero results, depending upon whether or not the cat in the box ate the poison. Insanity is doing the same thing […]

Another Mindless Rant

Astronomers keep finding planets around other stars; and, if you believe them, I’ve got a bridge I want to sell you. It’s my bridge… I’ve got a receipt. The guy who owned it didn’t need it anymore because he bought himself a catapult. Most of it is in my backyard, but, I’ve got a few […]