Things You Can Do After You Stop Trying to Impress People

You can order a drink that tastes good, like a girl-drink, instead of straight-shots of single malt stuff that tastes like something kept in an IV bag in a trauma ward. You can keep your car until it dies a natural death from old age. You can quit holding it in and let your belly […]

An Additional Rant

Recently, I was watching a program about illegal drug use in Portland, Oregon. You know, one of those shows where the narrator’s every utterance is the voice of doom. He said, “This is Portland” with the same grim morbidity one might use in describing a new strain of HIV that is transmitted by reading someone’s […]

If Crime Doesn’t Pay, a LOT of People are Wasting their Time

“Crime does not pay” That is not the dumbest thing ever said, but, if you stand next to it, you can see the dumbest thing from there. It was one of the trademark lines of the pulp-hero, The Shadow. He was a radio-age superhero who had the power to cloud men’s minds… which is what […]

Desire Under the Alligators, Chapters 4 – 6

[You’ll find the first three chapters here] Chapter 4: Things get complicated when Rodney hires a beautiful young grad student to calm the audience during the big alligator parade at the climax of the act. The woman’s name is “Busty Minx”, although her stage name is “Sara Fowler”. Sara draws the attention of the two […]

Best Names/Worst Names

Cars: For a car name to be good, it has to be an animal’s name. For a car name to be great, it needs to be a vicious animal. To be the best name, it HAS to be two vicious animals. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Stutz’s “Bearcat”. It’ll definitely do until someone produces […]