You Worm, We Worm, Eyeworm

According to the Journal of the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (a splinter group of the PLO), an Oregon woman had fourteen worms removed from her eye. I don’t know if that is any kind of a world record, but it definitely beats my highest number, which I HOPE TO GOD is zero. […]

Lessons Learned from Total Recall

Given a breathable atmosphere, two people standing outside on Mars won’t care that it is a hundred degrees below zero. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s nose is ungodly elastic. In the not too distant future, we will simultaneously have robots driving taxi cabs and people still doing the mining and working jack-hammers. Does it really only take a […]

Valentines Advice (Part Two): For Women

[I offer a glimpse into the minds of men concerning Valentines Day. Who are you to say, “No”?] Sex: By that I mean sex, sex, sex, sex, sex! If you don’t feel like having sex, may I refer to the first item? The only men who really get into Valentines Day are 80’s movie serial […]

I Was a Bitcoin for the FBI!

When I first heard about Bitcoin, I had to laugh… then, I had to stop because I was bothering the other parishioners; to be fair, decentralized crypto-currencies always make me laugh. I remember when I heard about Zcash, I laughed so hard, I broke a blood vessel in my inner ear. It was worth it, […]

Lessons Learned from the Movie Desperado

Never run drugs for men who have house payments. The bartender sometimes never gets killed. If you ask a bar full of armed men about a man who calls himself “Bucho”, prepare for an emotional response. Sometimes a man is most dangerous when his ankle is shattered and he is lying in the dirt. Pretty […]