[Yes, I finally have over a thousand followers. If I seem emotional, it’s because seeing three or more zeros in a row makes me cry] We can lay siege to any town of no more than ten thousand people. I can use them as the cast and extras for a Ben Hur remake. George F., […]Read More What I Can do with a Thousand Followers
Elvis Presley: Some people think that Elvis did NOT die in 1977. The prevailing theory amongst these people is that he died in 1936 and was replaced with a look-alike, also named Elvis Presley. John F. Kennedy: Did Oswald kill Kennedy? Some say that John Kennedy was so intelligent that his brain exploded out of […]Read More Conspiracy Theories of Note
Every window has a southern exposure. My nearest neighbor will feel compelled to bring me a house warming gift and my nearest neighbor will be Santa Claus. I’ll save a fortune on air conditioning. After a few more decades of global warming, I’ll be able to grow mangoes in my backyard. Six months of darkness […]Read More Why I Built a House on the North Pole
Before the ocean levels rise too much, we can put the state of Florida on stilts… or, for the good of the gene pool, let it sink. As farming states get warmer, switch what you grow and where: For example, in Nebraska switch from corn to okra and melons. In Georgia/Alabama, switch from peaches […]Read More Tips and Predictions on Global Warming
Recently, as many of you know, I was abducted by aliens. It was my own fault for driving my pickup truck on a lonely country road in the middle of the night. But, instead of anally probing me and letting me go, they, instead, anally probed me and asked me questions… for the purpose of […]Read More I AM FROM EARTH!!!