Injuries and Ailments that I LOVE

Slamming Thumb in Car Door: Often one’s first real injury. You don’t feel it at first because there’s kind of a shock involved. But, after the tears and pain, you’ve got a black fingernail to show your friends and, when it falls off, to throw at girls. Cold: My voice is weak and reedy. It’s […]

Things I Love about The Godfather

It explains why Frank Sinatra was allowed to make feature movies way better than my theory about the Lizard People… It keeps Diane Keaton to a minimum, which is something Woody Allen could never accomplish. For those of us who wondered, it showed that Marlon Brando could be killed with ordinary household bug spray. […]

Trees I Hate

Long Needle Pine: Long needle pines provide no shade and their wood oozes a bad smelling glue; plus, I don’t trust a tree without lower branches. If I get a kite or model rocket stuck fifty feet above the earth, a mature long needle pine has so few branches that it is almost impossible […]

Random Thoughts from a Blue Planet

There’s a time to talk to your son about masturbation; but, apparently, it ISN’T during Thanksgiving dinner in front of his kids. I was studying non-abelian groups, last night. The reason I study non-abelian groups is so that I can start conversations with “I was studying non-abelian groups, last night”. I got the idea one […]

Thoughts on Voting in America

Some people say, “If you’re old enough to join the Army, you should be able to vote, as well”. I feel exactly the opposite: If you’re already putting your life on the line for your country, why add the stress of voting to your plate? The vote you most often regret the least is the […]