Random Thoughts from a Blue Planet

There’s a time to talk to your son about masturbation; but, apparently, it ISN’T during Thanksgiving dinner in front of his kids.

I was studying non-abelian groups, last night. The reason I study non-abelian groups is so that I can start conversations with “I was studying non-abelian groups, last night”. I got the idea one night when I was studying Shakespeare’s Pericles…

Yes, if a comet hit the Earth, life would be devastated; but, the comet wouldn’t do so well, either…

Before I climb Everest, I have to find out if Sherpas are considered slaves and if I’m expected to whip them. If I’m fighting the cold and wind and altitude, I really don’t want to also have to worry about a Sherpa uprising…

I’m not much on painting. I don’t see the need for it. I keep my walls as bare sheet-rock, but I leave some Sharpies in a bowl nearby so anyone standing there can fill a little in if the mood should strike.

I would’ve done a lot better romantically if I had had a mating display… and maybe a dance as well. I relied more on subtle signals and compelling women to love me through the power of my thoughts.

When it comes time for my kids to put me in a home, I hope they select one with a lot of secret passageways.

I think the closest you can come to a trophy hunter is being a serial killer. Neither has any emotional attachment to his victim; and, you’d be creeped out by either’s explanation of why they do it…

There was an experiment where they electrified the floor of a cage with rats in it and the rats eventually started attacking each other. The purpose of this experiment was to show that psychologists are monsters…

The unexamined life is not worth living… but you’ll never find out…