How to Tell if You are a Covid 19 Super-Spreader

A dozen people from your last mask-less get-together went to the hospital and it had nothing to do with the salmon mousse. Your Secret Service code name is “The Plague Rat”. Suicidal teenagers run up to you and lick your forehead. Masks you give out at your events aren’t compliant with CDC guidelines and are […]

Stuff We Learned from the Debate

Thanks to president Trump, insulin is cheaper than water… now that water is a thousand dollars a liter. We learned that his being an obnoxious jackass doesn’t end at seven o’clock at night. We learned that he doesn’t SUPPORT Nazis; but, he does tell them what to do. We learned that Biden’s son had a […]

I Go Catty: Some Theories on Melania Trump

She is a ventriloquist and must always be within arm’s length of the hole in Trump’s back. She is a sex-doll brought to life by a fairy. She will become a real girl after she performs a selfless grand task. We’ll keep you posted. Melania Trump speaks no English and precious little Russian. She ended […]

People Who Would Make Awful Ghosts

Richard Simmons: He is the opposite of terrifying, although if you found him in your laundry room with a net and some duct tape, you might feel some unease. A ghost needs to be somber and scary. They seldom sweat… even to the oldies… Keith Richards: He’d be terrible because you need to be able […]