She is a ventriloquist and must always be within arm’s length of the hole in Trump’s back.
She is a sex-doll brought to life by a fairy. She will become a real girl after she performs a selfless grand task. We’ll keep you posted.
Melania Trump speaks no English and precious little Russian.
She ended up with Donald Trump when they were pairing fashion models up with billionaires and she’d left the room to use the bathroom.
A second theory as to why she ended up with Donald Trump involves a bet with Satan and a fiddle contest.
She has no uterus. Melania Trump reproduces by firing her spores into a dish of beluga caviar.
She wears that blank expression because her memory is wiped once a week to alleviate the trauma associated with waking up next to Donald Trump.
She prefers black men and since orange is the new black, she was strongly attracted to Donald Trump.
Scientists know that Melania Trump’s neck will one day fracture under the weight of her false eyelashes.
Melania Trump supported the International Red Cross; however, Mrs. Trump’s enthusiasm for the Red Cross dwindled when she found out that no one was going to set fire to that cross.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I kind of feel sorry for her. ☹️
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You marry for money, you get what you deserve.
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Nobody has proved his wealth to me
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You’re making an assumption Charles, you don’t know why she married him 😦
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Right, Deb. It was for his personality.
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Orange is the new Black explains a lot.
The only logical explanation I can find is Trump said he would destroy the prenup if she stays with him while he’s in office. You can tell there’s no affection there. Though I’m sorry, no amount money is worth that!
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When you have a billion dollars in the bank, you have almost a billion dollars more than you will ever need.
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Agreed. I mean how many solid gold toilets does one need to Tweet from?
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I’m going with the sex doll one. Or the poor timing bathroom trip. I think being first lady was the last thing she ever wanted. Besides being married to Trump.
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She does always look as if she’s suddenly realized that she got the smallest piece of birthday cake…
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No one thinks about Melanie because it’s too difficult thinking about Trump himself. And republicans can’t think about a porn queen as first lady after years of hurling insults at Michelle for wearing dresses that showed her arms. The hypocrisy is too deep to deal with. Gimme the blue pill and stick me back in the Matrix please. Make me somebody important.
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And SOMEBODY… MAKE ME A STEAK…
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LOL!
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…like a politician? They are important – so they believe.
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If you are going to create a system, make yourself an important part of that system…
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Unless you are at the top (and even THAT has its problems) there is always something that wants to eat you
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Thanks for giving me the mental image of waking up next to Donald Trump… the horror… I’m so glad I’m a lesbian.
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After getting a mental image of Trump in bed with me, I became a lesbian…
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Noooooooooo!
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The owner of the ant farm is a god, to the ants.
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Funny and sad at the same time.
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I don’t usually mock a specific person but that is what came out of me…
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Orange is the new black—bwahahaha!! So wrong…but still hilarious!
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It’s what happens when you’ve got nine of them the night before you want to publish…
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I tend to not enjoy lampooning specific people, but all my sympathy for her vanished when she wore that coat to the border facility. And, y’know, when she went to the border and did nothing about it after.
(Well done on that last one, by the way.)
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She does seem entirely without empathy… but most models seem like that, I guess…
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