Q and A’s

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? “You do NOT want to go into that bathroom” When you die, what do you want to be remembered for? Faking my death. What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? A subatomic particle that has a neutral charge and looks like Avril Lavigne… […]

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Things I Love about The Godfather

  It explains why Frank Sinatra was allowed to make feature movies way better than my theory about the Lizard People… It keeps Diane Keaton to a minimum, which is something Woody Allen could never accomplish. For those of us who wondered, it showed that Marlon Brando could be killed with ordinary household bug spray. […]

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Why Kung-fu Movies are Better than Sex

On average, kung-fu movies last about eighty minutes; sex, in my experience, lasts about eighty seconds… two minutes if I think about baseball… forty-five seconds, if I think about women’s softball… In kung-fu movies, the martial artists pretend to be various animals to make themselves more unbeatable; but, ask your partner to pretend to be […]

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Popular Actors I Cannot Stand

[As most of my friends know, I really like movies. Even the old ones… even before sound. But, some actors, despite their fame, never set right with me. My opinion? So, glad you asked…]   Clark Gable: An actor that sounds as if he’s impersonating another actor that I’m not familiar with. I think that […]

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