Elementary Facts about Neutrinos

A neutrino is an elementary particle. An elementary particle is any matter that cannot be broken down any further. So, the neutrino you thought you destroyed when you ran over it with your car was probably the neighbor’s cat. A neutrino is not a neutron. The name “neutrino” was coined to give the newly discovered […]

Other Uses for a Shock Collar

If you have a pressing need for an electric eel, you can make one yourself with a lungfish and a shock collar. Shock collars are great for charging your phone all at once. You can use shock collars to execute hamsters who’ve committed capital crimes. Use one to give your child a mild shock every […]

Why I’m Sad

I’m sad when a tv series that I like ends because I can no longer follow the made up events in the lives of people who don’t exist. I get sad when one of my favorite actors or actresses dies. Personally, I always felt as if Don Knotts and Tim Conway had one more epic […]

My Fruitless Quest for a Nobel Prize

It has long been a dream of mine to win a Nobel Prize. Well, time’s a wastin’ and I STILL don’t even have one. But, it was the LAST STRAW when my best friend and poker-buddy, Denis Mukwege Mukengere, won the Peace Prize for some nonsense about the treatment of women in Congolese war zones. […]

The Science Monster That Ate Seattle

Geneticists have just discovered the DNA sequence that makes people want to study heredity because, what choice did they have? Harvard and international astronomers have announced the discovery of nearly a hundred exo-planets. This will change dramatically the way people look at Harvard and international astronomers. Chemists are currently working on a method which determines […]