The Rhinoceros Who went to the Wrong Airport

A rhinoceros was an executive at a large defense contracting firm. He had planned, for Thanksgiving, to travel to his mother’s house; and, even planned to bring along some of that Italian dressing that she loved but couldn’t get where she lived. He had his administrative assistant make the arrangements, which she did efficiently. Late […]

Other Uses for a Shock Collar

If you have a pressing need for an electric eel, you can make one yourself with a lungfish and a shock collar. Shock collars are great for charging your phone all at once. You can use shock collars to execute hamsters who’ve committed capital crimes. Use one to give your child a mild shock every […]

Why is There a Rhinoceros-Shaped Hole in my Wall?

[Okay… this one is “experimental”, which is code for “pretty crappy”. I came up with the title first and then tried to come up with ten items. Don’t read these ’til you’ve had your coffee…] Why is there a rhinoceros-shaped hole in my wall? Because… I bought the wrong pet door. I was holding a […]

Things I am Grateful For

I’m thankful that I don’t have a neck because it keeps people from inviting me to tennis matches. I’m thankful for the food I eat, the water I drink and the motel towels that I steal… I’m grateful for my children and promise to be even more grateful should one of them become a billionaire. […]