Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog: Low Fat Version

Dear Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, My boyfriend likes to sing along with the radio when we are in the car together; but, he only likes to sing along with the all-news channels. The other day, he was singing the NASDAQ to the tune of “Body and Soul”… I know I’m being overly sensitive, but now, […]

More Rules to Live by

The more arrogant the speaker, the more punchable the face. Two can live as cheaply as one and three quarters. Time really flies when you are about to be executed. It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good; it’s an iller wind that blows your trash cans into your koi pond. You can catch […]

How to Write a Best-Selling Novel

They say that everyone has a novel in them. Some manage to get it out and some keep it in until Epicac is available. We revere the best-selling authors despite the fact that OUR stuff is WAY better than anything they churn out. So, why do their books sell a million copies and people like […]

Your Child and Violent Video Games

Limit your child’s game-time to his waking hours. Tell your child that, if he cannot control himself after playing violent video games, he won’t be allowed to see Cannibal Holocaust that evening. Discuss the age-appropriateness of your child’s video games with parents that actually care how their children turn out… If your child breaks his […]