Limit your child’s game-time to his waking hours.
Tell your child that, if he cannot control himself after playing violent video games, he won’t be allowed to see Cannibal Holocaust that evening.
Discuss the age-appropriateness of your child’s video games with parents that actually care how their children turn out…
If your child breaks his leg, then fully expects to respawn at his last save-point, he is probably playing too much Halo.
Video games will help train your child to be a sociopath so he won’t stand out as an adult.
You may think that years of playing ultra-violent video games might make your child incapable of feeling emotions but he’ll always have rage.
Playing violent video games is a great way to wean your child from his porn addiction.
Video games aren’t all bad. On-line games are a great way to meet like minded people who enjoy competition, the thrill of the game and enticing young people to meet them at the nearest mall.
Don’t let your child get “doughy” from all of his time sitting at a computer. Get him involved in sports such as Fantasy Football.
Get your child involved in non-computer organizations like 4-H. If he can kill a hundred thousand individual made-up people, he’ll have no trouble with sticking a water hose down a calf’s throat to make it heavier for a weighing…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Rage, that’s a very harsh word, I’d rather use muderous tendancies myself 😊
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I thought that described all Australians…
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In this house tonight … yes 😊
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‘parents that actually care how their children turn out’ how do you find out?
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I just offer to buy their children. If they start to haggle on the price, I know that they are not in that group.
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😀 assuming that haggling is not a reflex
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True!
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Its good for parents to have an open conversation of video games they play and the ones that their kids are playing. Good article!
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It was funny up until the calf and the hose. Please don’t give the little monsters any ideas. Waterboarding bovines doesn’t end well for anyone….
Now, what time is Cannibal Holocaust coming on?
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I doubt they do it anymore; but, when I was a teenager, it was a huge scandal with 4-H.
Trust me… you do NOT want to see Cannibal Holocaust…
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You mean it’s not the light hearted romp I’ve read about…? Very disappointing.
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No, you’re thinking of the earlier version which was a musical with Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney and Gene Kelly. Judy was lovely, Gene was lively and Mickey was eaten early in the movie…
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“Don’t let your child get “doughy” from all of his time sitting at a computer. Get him involved in sports such as Fantasy Football.” Funny list! I think I may be guilty as well – on our long drive to vacation Declan sat in the back seat and said, “This car ride is so long! I’m dying! My health bar is going dooooooooooowwn!” Cracked me up, but definitely points to a lot of video game play 🙂
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My oldest, when the power goes out, just goes to sleep until the power comes back on…
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Pong.
I played a lot of Pong, as a kid.
I think that explains a lot.
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So did I. It was one of the first video games ever released to the public. They sold a machine with four versions of the game built in. Cartridges and pc disks were not a thing back then…
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Don’t forget. They’re the best training for your future military job!
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It’s Ender’s Game all over again, eh?
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