“…and I am happy to present this year’s Nobel Prize in Physics to Marjorie Taylor Greene”
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“I can’t decide between spending the long weekend at that church retreat and seminar or watching seventy-two hours of pornography”
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“Oops, your gum fell into my hair. Let me get you another piece”
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“Your nasty sarcastic comment has caused me to rethink my entire attitude towards life. Thank you.”
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“Just for that I don’t think I’ll LET you read my poetry”
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“UFC middleweight champion? That just makes me want to fight you all the more”
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“Could you turn up your car stereo? I can’t hear your bass-heavy atonal music over my sleep-deprived daughter’s tortured crying”
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“We Marines prefer men who are not afraid to cry”
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“No way am I taking a job for more money and better benefits just so I can have an attractive personal secretary and a company car”
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“No, I’m happy just to sit here quietly with you and wince every time you fart…”
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“This Netflix-produced multi-part mini-series is the best thing I’ve ever watched”
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
“Gee, I’m so glad I got married.”
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I was hoping you’d have one, George.
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…and gave you another one. I could go one…but…
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“Why didn’t anyone ever tell me marriage was nothing more than a contract with the state to give someone else all my money and property?”
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That, my friend, has been said often.
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…yeah, but only when it’s too late.
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” Start a blog? Nah, what would I have worth saying?…”
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But you have to PUSH THROUGH that because people DO want to know why frogs are better than marshmallows and ten reasons Benjamin Harrison would’ve been a poor astronaut. You do a podcast, though. Isn’t that an incredible amount of pressure?
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Truthfully, the only people who have a more deluded sense of their own importance to the rest of the world than bloggers are podcasters. Jonas Salk had nothing on us.
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“A second helping of kale? Of course…”
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We agree very much on kale, don’t we?
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These are great. Some made me snort…!
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Me too 🤓🤓🤓
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Well, you didn’t get me to rethink my whole attitude about life, but since reading your post I have rethunk my former attitude about SHOOTING MAHSELF IN THE HAID!!! 👻
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I should hope I’ve turned you AGAINST it…
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Yes, you have ~ slight TURN toward the muzzle AGAINST my despairing FOREHEAD… (Kidding, of course, bro) 😆
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Well, you are talking to someone who’s been diagnosed with Severe Chronic Depression… as most good humorists are…
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I’m sorry, bro. The classic “tears of a clown,” eh?
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You’ll deprive us of your poetry C? I’m cut 😖
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My poetry is, in fact, the worst ever created. But, I can only speak for the English language, Deb…
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That’s not true. You’ve posted some wonderful poems
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