Parse, The Grammar Clown!
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Akira Kurasawa’s Ran.
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Math coloring books.
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Three hours of flossing videos.
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Rex, the sock-puppet woodpecker who says things in a very roundabout way and only speaks German.
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Have them do your federal taxes.
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Extended readings from Proust’s Rememberance of Things Past.
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Have each child give his or her best impression of Rutherford B. Hayes.
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Explain to them in detail about your problems sustaining a romantic relationship.
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Perform an autopsy on a dog or cat you got from the shelter.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
That might also work for a roomful of Trump supporters.
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It already has…
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Wow, that got dark! The puppet show would still probably work—toddlers don’t understand much language yet…and toddlers are ideal to expose to other languages. Also, you didn’t specify what native language the toddlers spoke/understood. 😉
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Oh… the toddlers are feral and speak no language…
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Then it won’t matter what language the puppets speak. Also…terrifying!
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Did you know that Peter Lorre was a puppeteer?
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No clue. I don’t know much about Peter Lorre aside from him being an actor.
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That’s what’s wrong with kids today. Not enough Proust..
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I think that must be what’s wrong with nearly everybody…
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Math colouring books are fun C. I highly recommend them
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Like Sebastien the Bear and the Lost LaPlace Transform?
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Exactly, and Hop A Long Llama and his Magnificent Flying Machine
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These kids need to learn. There’s a fine line between good dental hygiene and rotten chompers!
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