My friends. Let me wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. It has been great interacting with my regulars in the comments section. I look forward to another year of reading your posts and you tolerating mine.
I want an unsigned first edition of the Declaration of Independence.
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I want a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People with a pair of brass knuckles and a roll of duct tape.
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I want the gift of laughter. Let it be known that I find one ounce bars of gold to be HILARIOUS!
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I want an “itty bitty book-light” and an itty bitty book and a review of that book by a midget.
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I want a deaf German Shepherd that I can sneak up on when I get bored.
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I want an electron telescope.
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I want a book on ethics with a secret compartment in the spine for stashing stuff I steal from the office.
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I want bullet-proof shoes because I’m tired of getting my feet shot at whenever I encounter a drunken bunch of cowboys.
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I want an autographed photo of Vin Diesel and a document shredder.
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I want a shirt that is made out of humanely-raised mink and trousers made from wool taken from sheep that have been tortured to death.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Ok, I understand the German shepherd, but what about Hulk Hogan C????
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I’m not sneaking up on Hulk Hogan, Deb…
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Well maybe you should C, maybe you should
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Okay, but if I get hurt, I’m blaming you.
BTW, I still can’t post a comment on your site…
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It’s ok, I’m leaving WP for good in one more post. No more Deb
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That’s a shame, Deb. I’ve been following your sites since I started my time with WordPress… The photos and the diary of your camper trip pulled me in. You’ll still be writing, though, I hope…
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I’m going to try writing songs. I might need your help with creating utube videos for them.
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I will do what I can!
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That’s quite a list. The question is have you been a good enough boy all year to deserve these gifts? If not there might be wombat poo in your stocking.
But no worries, it’s square… so when it dries you can make your own dice and play literal craps.
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Where were you when I was writing my piece on wombats?
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I couldn’t find bullet-proof shoes so I got you dance lessons.
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Fred Astaire type or Gene Kelly?
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I thought tap would go well with the sound of gunfire.
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So… Nicholas Brothers!
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Of course! Nothing but the best for you! But can you do the splits? Of course, they’re not around anymore so the lessons wouldn’t be from them. I do have a teacher in mind.
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Well, GIVE!
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Merry Christmas—it’s been a pleasure reading your posts and interacting with you this year!!
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It’s been fun reading your Monday adages!
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Same to you, first paragraph-wise.
Otherwise, may your wishes all come true
Except the ones that I surmise
Don’t depict the real you (which leave just a few).
P.S. All kidding aside, all the best the rest of the year and beyond.
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Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year to you! Your posts are always worth it. And yeah, gold is indeed hilarious. I hope everything you touch turns into something that makes you laugh! I am assuming you have been the nicest boy in the block all year?
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I try to be pure evil; but, I just can’t bring myself to kick a dog… Partly because I’m nice and partly because of all those teeth…
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Santa is noting this down at the bank vault from where he is stealing those bars for you. Oops! “Fetching”.
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Santa owes me. I asked for a pony once and he delivered one, each piece wrapped in butcher paper. Sure, it tasted GREAT, but I felt a little guilty eating him.
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