Regrets from 2023

Courtroom sketch of a goat as a lawyer on Craiyon

I regret giving that goat my power of attorney.

I regret buying those vintage lottery tickets.

I regret giving my canary a taste for human flesh.

I regret yelling “Fire!” in that crowded movie house; but, even more, I regret starting that fire in the crowded movie house.

I regret not buying that Renoir from that guy who walks up and down the median at rush hour.

I regret falling asleep on our trip to Pennsylvania and next time I’ll let someone else drive.

I regret stopping on the highway to let that hallucination cross.

I regret mistaking the sound of a backfire for gun shots and I regret using my son’s third grade teacher as a human shield…

I regret that I have but one life to give for my country; fortunately, it isn’t MY life…

I regret the Earth not swallowing me up when I asked a coworker when she was “due” and found out she was just fat.

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