Some Stuff I’m Working on

Posted on by masercot

Wyandotte (Huron) Creation Legend and How the Sun was Made

Early on in modern astronomy, most scientists felt that the Universe was eternal. It was the scientific equivalent of shrugging your shoulders and saying, “I dunno. It was like that when I got here”. Later, they noticed signs that maybe the Universe hadn’t been here all along. With the aid of a spectrograph, scientists determined that our universe still had that “new universe smell”; and, having been driven off the lot, our universe has already lost half its value. The Universe also has trouble remembering its address which, simply enough, is “here”. Like any young entity, all the Universe wants to talk about are uninteresting topics such as K-Pop and spinal meningitis.

All of which means our universe either had a beginning or time is cyclical; but, if I’d been through all of this several times before, I would have warned me won’t I? So, the best theory we have is that first there was nothing and then that nothing exploded and became something. It’s similar to the time that I blew up my shed and part of my neighbor’s fence and THAT went from being nothing to quite the lawsuit. This theory, the Big Bang Theory, is an attractive theory for many reasons:

It starts with an explosion which, action movies have shown, can be pretty entertaining. It gives us a time when the universe was smaller than we are so we know, at one point, we could’ve taken it in a fair fight. It completely explains the composition of the Universe if we just add concepts like dark matter, dark energy and unicorns that implode if you get them wet.

It explains where hydrogen came from, which was nice because everyone has started blaming me for it.

We are still being thrown away from the center of the largest explosion ever and at nearly the speed of light and we are going about our daily lives like bad-asses. Like those people in the movies who walk in slow motion with an explosion behind them and they don’t look back, except we are being thrown with the shrapnel and knitting a sweater or filling out our time-sheets while we are doing it. We, as a species, are FEARLESS…

[Note: Before the Big Bang Theory, American scientists had come up with an alternate, the Big Band Theory, which postulated that the Universe originated from a single point AND somehow Duke Ellington was the cause…]

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The Wyandotte creation myth starts with a goddess at an apple tree in a land above the Earth, which was an endless expanse of water much like Egypt was… except with fewer statues of lions with people heads. The tree and goddess fell through the ground and hit the water with a great flash of lightning. Two swans noticed the strike and swam towards it… partly to see if they could help but mostly because swans are sexually attracted to lightning. The other animals got together and came up with a way to save the woman. The turtle made an island with its back; but, without soil, she wouldn’t be able to grow anything but barnacles. Each animal dove down to get dirt to spread on the turtle shell. All died before they could get to the bottom… except the frog, who brought the needed soil up in her mouth; and, the realm of man was created. So, wherever you stand on this planet will have frog spit on it….

26 thoughts on “Some Stuff I’m Working on”

  3. I like the stuff you’re working on much more than the biblical and all the other theories and myths because your thinking is much more plausible and almost equally entertaining. Just keep at it (whatever “it” is), and before you can say ABRACADABRA, I’m sure you’ll come up with a working creation theory.

    Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere (I already looked up how to spell ABRACADABRA for you).

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    1. Five years ago, I had something published in a literary magazine… thirty pages. The format with several things at the same time. Stand-along list items were in boxes at the margins of longer pieces. To this day, I simply assume they needed content…

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      1. I’ve had many poems and a short story or two published in litmags, but nothing approaching thirty pages. That was last century, in the age of paper. This century, I’m content to blog, and if I bite my tongue-in-cheek, even fewer readers know it than in days of yore..

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  4. This Big Bang stuff confuses me. Don’t action movies END with a big explosion, not start with them? I like the person who was asked about the world standing on the back of a turtle. They asked, “And what does the turtle stand on?” She ended with, “It’s turtles all the way down.”

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    1. I’m actually a Wyandotte Indian. That little drama seemed like a metaphor for the different clans in our tribe. I am of the Little Turtle clan. You’d think that would give me a free t-shirt or a discount on Starbucks… but, no…

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  5. This made me think of one time I asked a friend (after watching her children get baptized)…do you believe in evolution? I was just curious. She responded…I do not believe in The Big Bang Theory. Huh. Ok, I guess that answered my question.

    I always knew it was a frog!

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      5. Nothing is a waste of time. The path we all travel can be most unexpecting. I read once…one can choose to believe there is no such thing as a bad choice…because what we may think is a bad choice leads us to our next destination…and then another and another. So that first “bad choice” could have been the thing that led you to Shan-Gri-La. I don’t remember what it said exactly…so that was totally DoRee-fied.

        Also, I once lived in an apartment building with a neighbor that called her apartment Shan-Gri-La. It was beautiful!

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  6. “…shrugging your shoulders and saying, “I dunno. It was like that when I got here”.
    This is the most plausible explanation…the admission that there is no explanation. Stephen Hawking: “Asking what came before the big bang is moot because time, space and physics did not exist.” Ok, well. That makes sense. The Virgin Birth makes sense. Religions makes sense. It’s turtles all the way down…yeah that make sense. Quantum physics makes sense. Light is both a wave and particle makes sense. Observing a particle changes its behavior. Yeah, yeah…it ALL makes sense as I am riding on the rock traveling nearly the speed of light (could be faster I’ll need to fact check this one) paying my bills and worried about my future trying to “make something of myself.” So what do I really need to worry about? –Shrug–

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  7. Ok I read all the comments and I have to admit I focused on a few things. I now only worry about eating, shitting, cuming, exercising, keeping the roof over my head, keeping my interpersonal relationships warm and friendly, being a nice, non-narcissistic person and helping others when it doesn’t drain me. I have also realized the since the universe is infinite, we are ALL the center of the universe because the definition of “center” is being equidistant to the edges, and there are many many things I’ll never understand so I just roll with it and shrug. I don’t have any answers and there are, and have been, many many people smarter than me trying to figure things out…they may have gotten closer to the answer…but oh well.

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Published by masercot