Random Thoughts: The Netflix Series

When you burp you taste the meal you had BEFORE the last one… did the first meal just let the other meal “play through” like on an intestinal golf course?

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My cousin and I went to a wonderful bakery. She exclaimed, “This is just like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. The cashier didn’t understand what she meant by that until she turned into a blueberry.

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The best thing about dachshunds is that you always know how they are doing because they don’t stop barking unless they are dead.

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Why are cartoon bunnies so sexy but the real ones just smell bad and bite you?

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My parents told me that thunder was just clouds bumping up against each other; because, fifty thousand degree death rays that explode trees and kill golfers was probably too dark for a five year old.

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When I was ten, I played doctor with the girl next door. I got to see her without her shirt on and later she surgically removed one of my lymph nodes.

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I looked at the devastation around me and realized that I had become what I hated most: Liver and onions.

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What made William Shakespeare different from other playwrights of his time? Unlike most seventeenth century playwrights, Shakespeare could be easily disassembled with an allen wrench for ease of storage.

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Instant coffee was invented in 1917. It was marketed to people who liked coffee but wanted the beverage to be more joyless.

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The concept of Labor Day started with a New York Parade of all the city’s unions in 1882. There was also a giant teamster balloon but it had already been inflated for forty hours and couldn’t continue in the parade without permission from his shop steward…