You notice that the person who works the pharmacy is mixing codeine cough syrup into his Red Bull…
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Nurse Knuckles and Nurse Bonesaw are always on call.
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The rest home is listed by the state government as a detention center.
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The elderly occupants have set up a pommel-horse in the break room and mysterious piles of dirt are being found around the building.
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You notice the words “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter” above the door.
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The facility is owned and run by Eric Trump.
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The senile people in the facility complain of a threatening, malevolent and violent presence wearing rabbit masks. The ones who AREN’T senile agree.
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They are bused to the mall once a week for two hours of what the retirement home calls, “begging time”.
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Every occupant must spend one hour a week in a windowless room with blood-spattered walls and hooks hanging from the ceiling, trying to solve a puzzle box.
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Muslim and Catholic fasting days are strictly observed for all residents. If money’s tight, all secular fasting days are observed as well.
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There’s complimentary Soylent Green available in the lobby…
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Movie Night is usually an hour and a half of security footage of the side entrance between three and four-thirty a.m. Miss Davis will accompany on the organ…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Owned by Eric Trump, with poetry readings by Marla every Wednesday and makeup tutorials with Tiffany every Friday. It’s second tier all the way….
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And, all the Soylent Green you can eat!
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I loved the pommel horse joke. That book was a favorite of mine when I was in elementary school. I think it was called The Wooden Horse? I wonder if it was really true, or just a legend.
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They say the Great Escape is based on a true story, so I’d imagine there’s a twenty percent chance that part is true. Monty Python had a nice take on it when the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things found themselves surrounded by film. To escape, they pulled a pommel horse into the room and I guess that attracts WWII Germans because a couple walked by smoking cigarettes like movie Nazis…
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Yes, I think I’d give most of these features a miss.
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Making money off of physically and mentally weaker people is a recipe for disaster…
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You could cross-stitch that for your wall.
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I’ll get my grandmother to do it. She owes me money…
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