This Day in History: May 1st

Born on May first, 1852 was Martha Jane Canary, otherwise known as “Calamity Jane”. Depending on which historian you ask, she was either a sharpshooter, Army scout, stage coach driver and part time prostitute; or, she was a barmaid, nurse, laundress and a part time prostitute. All historians know for sure is that she supported her siblings in Wyoming Indian territory and she wore men’s clothes a century before Annie Hall. Jane might’ve embellished the dime novels that were her memoirs but, she was, by all accounts, a pretty nice gal. In the old west, part time prostitute did not have the stigma that it might, today; because there was plenty of room for advancement. Like to full-time prostitute and then to over-worked prostitute and finally promotion to Walmart greeter…

On May 1^st, 1945 radios all over Germany falsely broadcast the news the Hitler had “fallen at his command post in the Reich Chancellery fighting to the last breath against Bolshevism and for Germany” when he was actually dead in his bunker having choked to death on a bagel.

Physicist Jacob Bekenstein was born on this day in 1947, an Israeli-American born in Mexico. If he’d thrown one more ethnicity in there, he’d have qualified for his own situation comedy in the 1970s. Bekenstein is known for his theoretical work concerning black holes. He postulated that a black hole would have a well-defined entropy; Stephen Hawking disagreed, stating that a black hole had no entropy. Hawking proved himself wrong when he was able to find mathematical proof of “Hawking Radiation”. Yes, Stephen Hawking discovered “Hawking Radiation”. This is what is known as a coincidence…

David Livingstone, doctor, missionary and post-modern neo-impressionist, died on May 1^st, 1873. He is known for bringing Christianity to remote African tribes and for trying to find the source of the Nile. He converted Sechele, chief of the Kwena tribe after the chief divorced four of his five wives; but, Livingston later branded him a heretic for believing in rain-making and for advocating a folk-mass on Friday nights with a pot-luck supper. Henry Morgan Stanley located Livingstone after he’d been missing for several years. Historians agree he probably didn’t say, “Dr. Livingstone, I presume” due to the fact that Livingstone always wore a name-tag.

Calan Mai – If you’re in Wales on May first, make sure you attend the Welsh festival of Calan Mai especially if the only alternative is a severe beating. There is Maypole dancing and merriment and, if ya like bonfires, they have bonfires. At one point, people take turns retrieving oat cakes from a bag. The one who gets the dark oat cake has to either jump over one bonfire or pass between two. This ensures a good harvest and one less available bed in the burn ward…

In 2009 on this date, same sex marriage became legal in Sweden; although, if anyone anywhere is married for more than two years, they are probably having the same sex night after night, anyway… unless they are married to someone truly inventive or a real nut-job. Either way, do NOT let that person go.