You notice her jeans are stained with brake fluid.
♫
She moves most of the household poisons to her spice rack.
♫
You are camping in grizzly country when you notice your down vest smells like salmon.
♫
You ask about your severed brake-lines and your husband promises to explain it, “after you eat your mushrooms”.
♫
Your wife buys you a new toaster for the bathtub…
♫
Your spouse insists on having the authority to make end-of-life decisions for you… as soon as circumstances permit … by Friday afternoon if possible.
♫
Your wife starts adding more salt to your food and more cholera to your orange juice.
♫
Your husband reads murder mysteries with a hi-lighter.
♫
You find a deadly scorpion in your bed and all of your deadly scorpions are accounted for…
♫
Your spouse gifts you with base-jumping lessons at a school that only has one star in Yelp.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Sure signs, all.
Shame we don’t always see them…
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Reminds me of an old joke: A woman’s third husband dies under questionable circumstances. The detective asks, “How did your first husband die?”. The woman replied, “Eating poisoned mushrooms”. “How did your second husband die?”… she replied, “Eating poisoned mushrooms”. The detective asked, “How did your third husband die?”. The woman replied, “His head was bashed in”. The detective was startled and asked, “How did that happen?”. The woman said, “He wouldn’t eat his mushrooms”…
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Resistance is futile.
Women are determined creatures…
😉
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And, terrifying…
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Guess my cover is not blown yet. I am not showing any of these signs. And my wife doesn’t read.
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Just keep her away from PBS as well…
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