Remember “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions”?
“No. I have a chronic case of stigmata”
“No. My skin is trying to run away one little triangular piece at a time”
“No. I was teasing my monitor lizards and things got out of hand”
“No. I think it was just trying to smile through my body”
“No. I’ve been scheduled to have these three hundred stitches put into my leg for months”
“No. Those are dotted lines to indicate where to fold if you want to turn me into a crane”
“No. I’m just preparing myself for a rewarding career as a colander”
“No. My new girlfriend is a ‘biter’”
“Yes. Now that you mention it, I AM hard of hearing”
“No. According to marine biologists, the odds of being bitten by a shark are minuscule… so it must’ve been some other kind of hellish shark-shaped killing machine”
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Teasing monitor lizards is never a good idea. Those things have zero sense of humor…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I knew a woman who lost a dog to a monitor lizard…
LikeLiked by 1 person
See?
Not funny.
😰
LikeLike
Or you can just play this song for them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a79IG7G_yrw
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you think Al Jaffee got his idea from that song? Snappy answers to stupid questions: As kids we’d try to add our own but they were never as good as the ones in Mad Magazine….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Could be. One needs to be careful with Mad Magazine. Someone who shall remain nameless plagiarized a Mad poem by Isabelle DiCaprio (1963) for an English assignment and got a D. Did the teacher recognize plagiarism, or not appreciate Mad brilliance?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reminds me of when I wrote a piece on Bush jr. and my wife showed it to her friend’s father. He refused to believe that I had written it. Flattering, actually…
LikeLiked by 1 person