Thoughts on Canadian Foods

Poutine: French fries, cheese curds, gravy… kind of like that random list of words that Donald Trump had to memorize to prove he didn’t have dementia. Ever been to a McDonalds, bought some fries and thought to yourself, “this would be a lot better with some cottage cheese on it” Tourtiere: In most countries, when […]

How to Tell if Your Species is About to Become Extinct

You can’t live inside walls, under sinks, or get inside a dumpster… You have an innate need to cross six-lane highways. An apex-predator has been introduced into your ecosystem and, besides eating apexes, it also eats everything that you eat plus you and your friends. A real estate agent says, “And, this is where the […]

Stuff We Learned from the Debate

Thanks to president Trump, insulin is cheaper than water… now that water is a thousand dollars a liter. We learned that his being an obnoxious jackass doesn’t end at seven o’clock at night. We learned that he doesn’t SUPPORT Nazis; but, he does tell them what to do. We learned that Biden’s son had a […]

Stuff I’m Proud of

I’m proud that I still don’t know if Wilson Philips is a man, a woman or a group of people. I’m proud that the only body modification I’ve ever had done was falling face forward into a coffee table. I’m proud that I’ve never lied during sex. I’m proud that I’ve never taken money to […]

My Mystery, Cha Five

Partridge took the bearded Russian to his arms and embraced him. “Finally, a familiar face!” Kossov Dith put a finger to his lips as the staff filed out. “It is GOOD to see you, my friend”, Kossov whispered excitedly. He closed the library door. “How long has it been?” Goober Partridge thought for a moment, […]