I’m proud that I still don’t know if Wilson Philips is a man, a woman or a group of people.
I’m proud that the only body modification I’ve ever had done was falling face forward into a coffee table.
I’m proud that I’ve never lied during sex.
I’m proud that I’ve never taken money to perform sex, although I have taken money to stop.
I’m proud of my ability to say just the right thing at just the right time in just the wrong place to just the wrong person.
I’m proud of my singing voice which is just my talking voice but with a random, “Bay-bee!” thrown in every few stanzas.
I’m proud that I’ve never given in to the temptation to see if rolled oats will actually roll…
I’m proud that I’ve put a hundred percent of my effort into quitting in despair…
I’m proud of the full head of hair that I have in my hair brush.
I’m mostly proud of my modesty…
I’m proud of the fact that my lists always have exactly ten items.
I’m proud of the “meta-items” in my lists that, although not funny, really make you think. Specifically, you think, “Hey, that’s not funny”
I’m proud that I keep going long after I should’ve stopped.
I’m also proud of stopping.