Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
First, be SURE it was stolen. When I lose something, it usually falls down my pants-leg into my boot. Then, the cat defecates into that boot because I left her alone for a weekend, WITH FOOD AND WATER, but she’s still plenty miffed. If my identity is in that boot, I’ll get myself another, thank […]
Read More Identity TheftYou are sitting at home, reading a book, or, to be more honest, watching a rerun of M*A*S*H and eating half a layer cake, when everything goes dark. Power outage! But, you CAN survive is you remember to do the following: First, make sure you didn’t just blow a fuse. Check your fuse-box. If you […]
Read More So, Your Power is Out…All elevators are equipped with mechanical brakes that will stop the falling elevator just seconds after you soil your pants. ♣ If your elevator is plummeting, try pressing all the buttons. Maybe it will find a floor it likes. ♣ If others are in the elevator while it falls, try to calm them by shrieking […]
Read More So, You’re Elevator is Plummeting…Gorillas seldom attack people, which is what it makes the times they DO attack people so much more special. A gorilla attack is available to anyone with a gorilla, a joy-buzzer and a lot of poor judgment. When the fight is on, here are a few tips on surviving and even winning the battle. First, […]
Read More So, You’re in a Fight with a Gorilla…I’ve written things that were masterpieces but not “beloved masterpieces”. Because the only works they get the designation as “beloved” are children’s books. Why? Because if children love a book you’ll know it because they’ll demand you read it to them over and over and OVER until you finally FREAK OUT and replace its ending […]
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Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 