Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
Your pitch is so wild that it hits the batter’s wife who is in the stands behind you. ֍ You’re in the outfield, a ball is hit to you and you shriek, swat it down and hold it under your shoe until someone can come by with a newspaper to kill it. ֍ Your slides […]
Read More You aren’t Cut Out to Play Professional BaseballIt’s best to shoot someone with their own gun so it cannot get traced back to you. If your victim doesn’t have a gun, buy him one. ֎ Don’t burn off your fingerprints with acid, because the police will be looking for someone who burned off his fingerprints with acid and there aren’t very many […]
Read More How to Get Away with MurderIs it ironic to produce a reality show about a group of surrealists? ♣ Is it ironic to get so turned on by choking a chicken that you masturbate? ♣ Would it be ironic to grab a pillow and suffocate Tommy Smothers? ♣ How about if you have a rough time making a smoothie? ♣ […]
Read More Is it Ironic? (A Little Blue)Your deadbolt can be easily kicked in, no matter how sturdily it is built. For the best protection, get rid of all of your doors and get into your home through a series of rope ladders. ☺ If you are going to be away for a week or so, put some of your lights on […]
Read More How to Keep Your Home from Being Burglarized[Photo courtesy of Deb Whittam] Sometimes I hate how stupid and shallow others are and how much they look and act like me… ☼ Sometimes I think I second-guess myself too much; but, then I realize that I don’t… ☼ Sometimes I think yogurt is just someone trying to explain away leaving the milk out […]
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Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 