Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
You are sitting at home, reading a book, or, to be more honest, watching a rerun of M*A*S*H and eating half a layer cake, when everything goes dark. Power outage! But, you CAN survive is you remember to do the following: First, make sure you didn’t just blow a fuse. Check your fuse-box. If you […]
Read More So, Your Power is Out…All elevators are equipped with mechanical brakes that will stop the falling elevator just seconds after you soil your pants. ♣ If your elevator is plummeting, try pressing all the buttons. Maybe it will find a floor it likes. ♣ If others are in the elevator while it falls, try to calm them by shrieking […]
Read More So, You’re Elevator is Plummeting…Gorillas seldom attack people, which is what it makes the times they DO attack people so much more special. A gorilla attack is available to anyone with a gorilla, a joy-buzzer and a lot of poor judgment. When the fight is on, here are a few tips on surviving and even winning the battle. First, […]
Read More So, You’re in a Fight with a Gorilla…[Thanks to Deb for inadvertently giving me the idea. Happy Thanksgiving, one and all!] Hide their rhyming dictionary. ◊ Avoid inspiring them. Keep them away from clouds, Grecian urns and especially flammable tigers. ◊ Get a doctor’s note. “Sorry sweetheart, but I can’t listen to your poetry, today. Doctor says one more rhyme might kill […]
Read More How to Discourage Your PoetMake your turkey a week ahead of time, then eat it and tell everyone Thanksgiving is canceled. ☼ Hors d’oeuvres can be made easily and quickly if you have Greek olives, Gryere cheese, crackers and an experienced chef who knows what to do with those things. ☼ Salad can be made faster if you break […]
Read More Thanksgiving Hacks
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 