Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
[This one was tougher than it looks so be kind] If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, eventually, one of them would write Hamlet. But, Hamlet’s already been written so it might be better to use your monkeys and typewriters for something else. ֎ If you had […]
Read More A Million TypewritersFor one thing, his beak can hold more than his belly-can (and, I don’t know how in the hell-he-can). ☺ He may be a smelly sea bird but he’ll be way more believable as a superhero than Ant-man. ☺ One of its superpowers could be vomiting a torrent of partially digested fish at his foes. […]
Read More Why Our Next Super Hero Must Be Pelican ManA chain of strip clubs at nudist camps all over the world. ☻ An on-line dating service specifically for people who don’t own computers. ☻ A non-OSHA version of Minecraft where the ceiling caves in at random and no one bothers to look for you. ☻ A line of low-calorie enemas. ☻ Rememberance of Things […]
Read More Money-Losing Ideas I’ve HadFirst, identify the spider. This can be done with either a naturalist’s guide to wildlife or by checking the tattoo in the small of the spider’s back. ◙ Remember: There are only two kinds of poisonous spider in the United States. There’s the very distinctive black widow with an almost metallic looking body with a […]
Read More So, There’s a Spider in Your BathtubYou have a break in and she leaves with the burglars… ֎ Your dog draws a chalk line across the living room floor and says, “This side is yours and this side is mine. Just slide my dinner over at five o’clock” ֎ The only trick she does is to bite you when you tell […]
Read More Signs that Your Dog has Fallen Out of Love with You
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 