A Million Typewriters

The Infinite Monkey Theorem Comes To Life : 13.7: Cosmos And Culture : NPR

[This one was tougher than it looks so be kind]

If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, eventually, one of them would write Hamlet. But, Hamlet’s already been written so it might be better to use your monkeys and typewriters for something else.

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If you had a million lemmings typing on a million typewriters for a million years, eventually, one would write Shakespeare’s Macbeth, only with more parts for lemmings.

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, about half of them would end up with carpal tunnel syndrome and THEN you’d have a lawsuit on your hands.

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters, it would be about a week before several of them demanded those stupid stand-up desks…

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, eventually, one of them would notice that small high window and escape… then, it would free its friends. Now, you’ve got a lot of angry monkeys with carpal tunnel syndrome to deal with. Can’t the army help? Don’t make me laugh!

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, you would have quite the sanitation problem.

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, eventually, one of them would write the script for the first Star Trek movie… but they’d keep it to themselves because even monkeys have their standards.

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a trillion years, eventually, they’d write everything all those monkeys had previously written plus a conspiracy theory that blames it all on George Soros.

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If you had a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years, do you think one of them would be glad to type up the flyer for your garage sale or would it say sarcastically, “Sure, I’ll neglect my job of typing things entirely at random to type up YOUR stupid garage sale”

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At the end of a million years do you just FIRE all the monkeys? I guess that’s okay because they would have office skills by that point… but, I’d spend about three hours teaching them Excel before they went, just as a courtesy.

24 thoughts on “A Million Typewriters

  1. Or maybe we could just admit that God made this big, complicated, wonderful world, and “random chance” would need a lot more than a million monkeys and a million years. I’m sure there are other things those monkeys would be much better at doing, anyway. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

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