Why Our Next Super Hero Must Be Pelican Man

Posted on by masercot

pelican

For one thing, his beak can hold more than his belly-can (and, I don’t know how in the hell-he-can).

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He may be a smelly sea bird but he’ll be way more believable as a superhero than Ant-man.

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One of its superpowers could be vomiting a torrent of partially digested fish at his foes.

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There could be an incident where Pelican Man is trapped in an elevator with a very pregnant woman and international jewel thieves. So, he’s forced to deliver the baby (after vomiting on the jewel thieves). A pelican delivering a baby INSTEAD OF A STORK. If that’s not ironic, nothing is.

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The origin story? A physics student is bitten by a radioactive pelican and then dies of severe radiation poisoning. Her boyfriend, suddenly with a lot of free time on his hands, becomes Pelican Man to stave off boredom.

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Pelican Man’s biggest weakness? Oil spills.

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Besides vomiting fish at people, the only other superpower he has is what he can do to a criminal’s car as he flies over it.

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Superheroes sometimes need an alternate identity. For example, Batman was also Bruce Wayne. Pelican Man’s secret identity could be “The guy who works in my office and always smells a little like fish”.

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Pelican Man’s foes might be a half-man/half-eel creature called, “The Elver”; or, it might be a tall, thin criminal genius called, “The Stork”. Actually, it might be any creature or person that doesn’t get along well with pelicans.

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Pelican Man would not have a lair or a hideout… he’d have a nest. Fun Fact: There are an infinite number of parallel universes and in none of them is a man dressed as a pelican and sitting in a nest anything but ridiculous.

17 thoughts on “Why Our Next Super Hero Must Be Pelican Man”

  3. I remember I was in a Super Heroes campaign once. One of the characters was called The Frog, who was a giant frog that wrapped his tongue around people to telepathically communicate with them. I cant remember what his actual other powers were.

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      2. Sounds weird enough to interest you. It’s a kung-fu movie with characters like toad, scorpion and lizard. Toad’s superpower was that he was invincible to wounding…

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