Why Our Next Super Hero Must Be Pelican Man


For one thing, his beak can hold more than his belly-can (and, I don’t know how in the hell-he-can).

He may be a smelly sea bird but he’ll be way more believable as a superhero than Ant-man.

One of its superpowers could be vomiting a torrent of partially digested fish at his foes.

There could be an incident where Pelican Man is trapped in an elevator with a very pregnant woman and international jewel thieves. So, he’s forced to deliver the baby (after vomiting on the jewel thieves). A pelican delivering a baby INSTEAD OF A STORK. If that’s not ironic, nothing is.

The origin story? A physics student is bitten by a radioactive pelican and then dies of severe radiation poisoning. Her boyfriend, suddenly with a lot of free time on his hands, becomes Pelican Man to stave off boredom.

Pelican Man’s biggest weakness? Oil spills.

Besides vomiting fish at people, the only other superpower he has is what he can do to a criminal’s car as he flies over it.

Superheroes sometimes need an alternate identity. For example, Batman was also Bruce Wayne. Pelican Man’s secret identity could be “The guy who works in my office and always smells a little like fish”.

Pelican Man’s foes might be a half-man/half-eel creature called, “The Elver”; or, it might be a tall, thin criminal genius called, “The Stork”. Actually, it might be any creature or person that doesn’t get along well with pelicans.

Pelican Man would not have a lair or a hideout… he’d have a nest. Fun Fact: There are an infinite number of parallel universes and in none of them is a man dressed as a pelican and sitting in a nest anything but ridiculous.

17 thoughts on “Why Our Next Super Hero Must Be Pelican Man

  1. I remember I was in a Super Heroes campaign once. One of the characters was called The Frog, who was a giant frog that wrapped his tongue around people to telepathically communicate with them. I cant remember what his actual other powers were.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds weird enough to interest you. It’s a kung-fu movie with characters like toad, scorpion and lizard. Toad’s superpower was that he was invincible to wounding…


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