How to Tell if You have White-Trash Roots

HILARIOUS: 'You Know You're A Redneck When' Pictures

[This one is kind of autobiographical… tell no one!]

Your dad spends an entire afternoon explaining to you how best to head-butt a bouncer.

You go to a family wedding and they need a best man and a maid of honor because the bride and groom got into a fist fight with the ones they had.

Your great-grandmother is forty-five years old.

Someone in your family has flipped a pickup truck and that pickup truck wasn’t moving at the time.

You inherit a still from your uncle.

They catch your aunt in bed with your second cousin and everyone is relieved that neither of them is a cow or a goat.

Your grandpa turns his old septic tank into a media room…

At your family reunion, someone gets shot in the leg in a dispute over a can of beer.

Officially, you are still feuding with the family on the next property over.

When applying for work, at least two of your cousins has “lap dancing” under special skills.

Your grandma can spit a watermelon seed through three sheets of saran wrap.

Two words: Squirrel lasagna.

27 thoughts on “How to Tell if You have White-Trash Roots

    1. Actually, that one was one of the autobiographical ones. We arrived in Kansas, the bride and groom asked my father to be best man because the bride and groom had gotten into a fist-fight with the best man and maid of honor. The bride had a ton of makeup but you could easily make out the black eye…

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Those who stayed in Kansas/Oklahoma probably feel that way. My dad joined the Navy and he never really went back there… well, once… but, he got into a barroom brawl that was so massive, it made the front pages. His lawyer said, “If we forget about this, my client will reenlist”…

      … just in time for the Vietnam War!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Too funny! I come frighteningly close to many of these. Haven’t had squirrel lasagna but my kids and I always laugh at the time my dad came over with some fried squirrel for my kids to enjoy as an after school snack.

    Liked by 1 person

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