Fire Extinguisher Instructions Written By:

Drill Instructor: Pull safety ring from trigger What are you doing? We’ve got women can do that better than you. From now on your fire extinguisher’s name is “Janet” Step back and spray burning area Now, you will do fifty pushups! Donald Trump: Pull safety ring from trigger You know firemen saw me handling a […]

What Can You Do with a Railroad Spike

Railroad spikes are very effective in killing robot vampires. ♠ Bend a spike into a ‘U’ if you want to staple 45000 or more sheets of paper together. Apply with a sledgehammer. ♠ Heat a railroad spike up to 2500 degrees to accomplish any task that requires a dangerously hot pointed object. ♠ If you […]

Almanac: January 15th

Playwright Moliere was born on this day in 1622 in whatever part of Paris it was that people got born in. His full body of work includes tragedies, comedies, farces, tragicomedies, farcitragedies and farcitragedcomedies. His works have been translated into every living language and Visual Basic. When you read Moliere, you will have the unmistakable […]

Living in a Post-Truth World

We live in a post-truth society… well, maybe… it depends upon your perspective, I guess. Originally, there was truth society, whose main characteristic was there existed an arbiter whose opinion was final. In ancient Rome, it was the emperor. Later, it was the pope; then, the king or queen… except those three weeks that Queen […]

I Hate Stationary Bikes

[Idea came from a conversation with Rivergirl] When you pop a wheelie, it never ends well. ֍ Sometimes, I throw mine downstairs and yell, “Who’s stationary NOW?” ֍ In my rear-view mirror, objects are closer than they appear… which is probably why I get the feeling that the wall behind my bike is creeping up […]