I Hate Stationary Bikes

Stationary Bike Exercises That'll Elevate Your Workout | POPSUGAR Fitness

[Idea came from a conversation with Rivergirl]

When you pop a wheelie, it never ends well.

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Sometimes, I throw mine downstairs and yell, “Who’s stationary NOW?”

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In my rear-view mirror, objects are closer than they appear… which is probably why I get the feeling that the wall behind my bike is creeping up on me.

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My dog chases bikers so, the first time I rode my stationary bike, he ran at me full speed and gave himself a concussion.

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To simulate movement, I have a fan blowing into my face. To simulate inattentive drivers, my son randomly hits me in the back with a bag of cue balls.

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I hooked my bike up to a generator, now, after an hour of pedaling, I can power a thirty watt light bulb for twenty-four seconds.

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I pedaled a stationary bike backwards for nine hours and, when I was done, I was morbidly obese…

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I have a baby seat I use on the back of my stationary bike when I feel my granddaughter needs to not have a change in scenery.

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I used to race my friend on our stationary bikes. How do you decide who wins? The honor system.

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You cannot tell if a stationary bike loves you or if it just stays with you because it cannot go anywhere else.

17 thoughts on “I Hate Stationary Bikes

  1. The stationary bike is one of my least favorite pieces of exercise equipment. It was no surprise to me that I laughed out loud at the second one. The next time I am on one that will be all that I am thinking about! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The new video, artificial intelligence, virtual reality bike models allow you to spend thousands of dollars to pretend you’re biking in the South of France when for less money…you could be biking in the South of France.

    Liked by 1 person

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