Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
A textbook on American Sign Language written in braille. ◙ Roll-off deodorant because sometimes I change my mind and want to get sweaty and stink. ◙ A zombie-dog like from Pet Semetary so, if I needed to board the dog while on vacation, I could just leave at a kill-shelter and, by the time they […]
Read More The Gifts I Really Wanted for ChristmasThere are a lot of great actresses out there; but, few of them made a career out of basically playing themselves in each movie. Even fewer quit the acting business entirely to live in seclusion and raise dogs. And, none of them went on to poison the reservoir of a large city in an act […]
Read More Doris DayOne day, a sewer-dwelling clown decided he was done luring children down into the depths and then eating them. For one thing, the children were none too clean… and there were the ethical issues to deal with. He decided he wanted to live far away from civilization and reinvent himself. Realtor after realtor showed him […]
Read More The Homicidal Clown Who Retired EarlyHe speaks English like an auctioneer on Quaaludes and Novocaine. ☺ I could build a better man out of marshmallows and shame. ☺ Her voice is as soothing as the sound of a smoke detector being beaten with a sea lion. ☺ He’s a laughing stock in a bear market. ☺ Her feet are so […]
Read More Literate Insults“Don’t shoot me, I’m a conceptual artist!” ♥ “If the lot of you aren’t out of this house in five seconds I’m going to have to serve you cake” ♥ “Stick around ’cause I’ll be playing some tracks from my new album” ♥ “Drop the gun! I’m making a citizen’s arrest” ♥ “If you do […]
Read More Things You Can Say that Will Have the Opposite Effect
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 