Ask a Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog Part 4: The Doggening of David Dogg

Dear Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog, We’ve just had our second child, who doesn’t look like me; and, now my wife is trying to convince me that Chinese is a recessive gene. She makes a compelling argument, but I’m a little skeptical. San Francisco Dad of Two (?) Dear Dad, You are right to be skeptical. The […]

Why I’m Mad

I get mad when someone puts the milk back in the fridge with only a few drops in it. If it turns out it was me, I still get mad but I keep it to myself… I get mad because youth is wasted on the young; but, anyone can get old age if they are […]

Why I’m Sad

I’m sad when a tv series that I like ends because I can no longer follow the made up events in the lives of people who don’t exist. I get sad when one of my favorite actors or actresses dies. Personally, I always felt as if Don Knotts and Tim Conway had one more epic […]

Leftovers Part 2: The Seduction of Ingrid Leftover

She complained that I was being pedantic. I replied, “Well, not exactly”. The pig-footed bandicoot went extinct in the 1950s. I like to think that, if I’d been there to stop it, I probably would’ve gotten distracted and let it happen anyway. Astronomers have spent a lot of time and effort to determine the origins […]

Parenting Tips, Part Two: The Ballad of Father Daddy

When setting limits on your child, you and your spouse should show a united front. Don’t contradict one another in front of the child. Display a harmony that is surreal. Talk in unison like those creepy twin girls from The Shining. Just have fun with it… unless your spouse isn’t… It’s important to read to […]