The Titanic Gives Me a Sinking Feeling

The Titanic was built for less than ten million dollars. It took two hundred million dollars to make the movie. You do the math. Yes, there is math… I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d FREAK OUT like you always do… The Titanic was nearly as long as three football fields. Unlike the Titanic, […]

It’s Your Civic Duty to Get Out of Jury Duty

Some states and municipalities excuse students from jury duty. Pretend to be a college student. Carry a backpack and use hip slang terms like “WTF” and “internet”. Plead financial hardship. Show up for jury duty wearing a barrel with suspenders. When asked why you shouldn’t have to serve, turn your pockets inside-out and look morose… […]

Thoughts as Random as Random can be, I Must Say

Oscar Wilde once said, “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”. He died shortly after saying that because that wallpaper had some pretty powerful friends. That feeling I used to have after getting laid is the same feeling I now get when I lay in a three […]

I Go Dark: Thoughts on Euthanasia

Fatalists have no problem with euthanasia because, if you are euthanized, that is when you were slated to die anyway… unless you weren’t, then you can’t… it’s really quite simple… total acceptance of everything that is happening to people who aren’t you. If you are Catholic, euthanasia is considered suicide and a deadly sin… so, […]