Stuff I don’t Care About Anymore

Catlyn Jenner: Man, woman, spirit of the undead… I don’t care what you call her. Her life is a train-wreck and train wrecks are only interesting if they don’t happen on a daily basis. A Comet Hitting the Earth: Blah blah blah… all life as we know it gone. I don’t have time to […]

When is Black-face Okay?

[Recently, photographs have come to light with the governor of Virginia in black face in his college year book from the eighties. A lot of people are angry about this so… When is black-face okay?] When you go to a costume party in the eighties dressed as your favorite rapper and you also want […]

Signs that Your Child’s School May Not Be Up to Standards

Early afternoon is spent sitting quietly while the teacher watches her “stories”. The week before standardized testing, the teacher leads the children in a new song called, “A-C-C-A-B-D-A” When the children got up to the letter ‘T’, funding ran out, so your son Victor and you daughter Yvonne are considered by the other children to […]

Things You Don’t Know About Me

My skin has a delightful lemony scent. I’ve been told that my dandruff can be substituted for almond extract in just about any recipe. I just cannot decide if Mothra is the worst movie monster ever or just very nuanced. I’ve always silently resented people who cannot read my mind. Sometimes, when no one is […]

Vitamin-Enriched Flour WILL DESTROY US ALL

First, it was fluoridation in the 1960’s that threatened to turn us all into communists and was known to have turned at least four Americans into Devo. Then, it was mandatory seat belts that threatened to turn men into wimps and women into some ungodly female Devo. Now, it is vitamin-fortified flour. It is REAL. […]